Listen to the Podcast episode here:
Leaders Who Level Up with Jessica Rivera – Wildly You Podcast
Ahh the drama triangle… what a glamorously uncomfortable beast…
This is something I initially learned about from my dad in high school and then again while going through emotional intelligence training.
What is the Drama Triangle?
If this is the first time you’re experiencing this diagram, there’s 3 parts: Victim (woe is me, everything happens TO me), Villain (the one dishing out the blame or keeping others down), & Hero (tries to solve everyones problems, sees them as their own, rescuer, martyr).
The ‘drama’ is any situation or obstacle that is uncomfortable between a couple of people or even within your mind. Maybe this content for you. Watch how you feel during the course of it… Let’s see how we can actively come away utilizing the strategies I’m about to share with you…
Ways these are showing up in your business:
- 👉 Victim – Feeling lots of imposter syndrome? Wondering why everyone else is successful but you? Struggling to celebrate your wins, whatever they are? Getting roped into the beliefs of others and accepting them as YOUR truths, only to have them not work for you and end up back in the ‘I’ll never be successful’ loop?
- 👉 Villian – In your social media posts … how blunt are you at poking your dream clients problems? Be careful, you might just be pointing that finger so hard that they see you as a Villian in their mind… the last thing you want! Content not converting? People avoiding talking to you about their problems that you solve? Well, I’ll take one guess as to why that is…
- 👉 Hero – COACHES. Yo. Listen up. Your clients problems are their problems to solve. Your job is to hold the space for them and care for them but not to solve it for them. I said what I said.
If you’ve ever experienced holding one of the above titles, you feel a certain way right now. Which one did you notice you felt the most called out over?
4 Steps to Successfully leaving the Drama Triangle Behind…
The FIRST STEP in removing yourself from the drama triangle is AWARENESS. WHAT is actually happening here? — for this active example we are running, you probably feel hella called out or like a shitty human being for resembling any of the drama triangle parts… now we are ready for the second step…
The SECOND STEP is UNDERSTANDING. WHY is this happening? You could even go so far as to do the facts vs feelings list (writing out what the actual facts are and what feelings are coming up for you). Recount the events that went on that got you here. — for this active example, you were just merrily carrying on with your life and BAM I hit you with this information that’s challenging your business, your strategy, how you show up. What is actually happening? Am I really coming for you? Or am I bending your mind to see how you can up level? (P.S. It’s the latter)
The THIRD STEP is CHOICE. Keeping in mind your goals, your values, and your dream LIFE, what sorts of choices do you need to make with how you engage with this information so that you stay on target with your end dream result? — for this active example, how are you going to make an effort to be aware and make the change to uplevel your [insert what I called you out over here]?
The FOURTH STEP is ACTION. Take action. Actively choose to be better daily. That’s the oldest cliche in the book but you know what? We can choose over and over every second to make things better, more aligned with our goals and serve others better etc what have you… but until we actually make a PLAN to take ACTION, well, we might as well still be in the triangle.
The truth is, a lot of us (myself included) sometimes don’t recognize how we enter the drama triangle. We don’t mean anything ill of it to ourselves or to others, but it happens. What truly matters most is that when it happens, that you’re actively trying to remove yourself from the triangle for the betterment of all.
So, how did this make you feel? Do you feel like you now have a checklist to move forward, empowered and to create massive authentic and valuable transformations for yourself and others?